Marwick says. When phones are taken away as punishment, Dr. Peters says, kids tend to withdraw from the parent.
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Some kids feel that when parents confiscate their phone the potential invasion of privacy is worse than the loss of access. Mariella, a junior in high school in San Francisco, said that if her grades have been slipping, her parents take her phone at night to minimize her distraction. Every single week, Dr. As she points out, media cannot teach your child all the important aspects of face-to-face communication, like social cues or body language.
She even had one teenage client who was so reliant on his phone that he wanted to text her during a therapy session instead of speaking to her directly.
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Catherine Steiner-Adair, author of The Big Disconnect , worries that this is the first generation of teenagers who find it awkward to talk on the phone or have conversations in real time. Steiner-Adair says. Many experts recommend that parents give kids a reality check by setting limits on phone usage that the whole family follows.
For example, families can set dinner aside as a time when everyone puts down their phones and checks in with each other. For families who are on the go, car rides are another good time to unplug and have a conversation. Severely restricting access to social media, the Internet, or other apps for extended periods of time means that you are not allowing them the space to learn, and one of two things will happen.
Either they will then have to learn on their own, without your help or supervision, or they will find ways to sneak around and use social media without your knowledge. Either way, they are at a disadvantage without your help and support. Take advantage of the opportunities you have now to not only monitor their activity but also to guide them on how to responsibly use the tools available to them.
Ideally, you will have already established some basic rules and guidelines about appropriate online behavior before giving your teen a smartphone or tablet.
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There are some general preventative measures you can put into place to help ward off the potential for something inappropriate happening with your teen's device. Before any issues crop up with your teen, make sure you are familiar with their online world. Not only should you know what social media sites they are on, but you also should follow them. Social media monitoring is an essential part of parenting in today's world.
FindMyKids: GPS Phone Tracker on the App Store
You can even set up notifications so that you are alerted anytime your teen posts something. This way, if your teen posts something inappropriate, you can address it, and have them remove it. Be sure you know what your teen is doing online. For instance, are they watching YouTube, visiting chat rooms, or following a blog? Even if you find their activities boring, you need to pay attention and ask questions.
After all, if your teen finds it interesting, then learning more about it will help you learn more about your teen. It is always a good idea to establish an understanding that if there is something that bothers your teen, they can come to you with questions or concerns without fear of judgment. Teens learn best when they can interact openly and honestly with their parents without fear of losing their technology or being treated harshly.
When parents can remain calm and talk to their teens about challenging subjects like sex, pornography, or cyberbullying, they establish themselves as a trusted source of support for their teens. The key is to not overreact or make assumptions no matter what your teen brings up. It can be very troubling to find something inappropriate on your teen's smartphone but don't let what you find overwhelm you or send you into a panic. There may be more to the situation than you realize.
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Instead, focus on having a frank conversation and helping your child learn from their mistakes. Together, you can get through this situation and learn from it. In the end, if handled correctly, this situation can make your teen stronger and smarter about using digital devices more responsibly. Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy.
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Pew Research Center. Parents, Teens and Digital Monitoring. Published January 7, Commonsense Media. The Find My Kids app asks for the following permissions: — access to the camera and photo — to install the child's avatar; — access to contacts - to fill in the phone book in GPS-watch; — access to a microphone - to send voice messages in the chat.
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