Not only does she question the horse game, she made me get on the game and made sure it was child friendly. She questioned why I sent pictures to my friends when she clearly knows them , and I felt so sick. I was scared about what to text to my friends because I was worried my mom would completely start worrying and question me everything. My dad agrees with me having privacy on my phone but my mom will find a way to check my phone if she is actually going to start checking. Whenever I didnt want her to check it, she thought I was doing something inappropriate.
Sometimes privacy is healthy to gain independence and learn how to cope with things yourself. So recently I had been doing some not so good things on my phone.
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I want doing anything really bad like sending nudes but I had said some questionable things. One day out of nowhere my parents just took my phone. They like took it out of my hands. I was grounded for 2 weeks and lost my phone for 3. I felt my privacy was violated but I understand that they were trying to keep me safe but they did it very hostile and suddenly. My friends got in trouble. It ruined my life. To make things worse, My parents became helicopter parents. They put secret monitoring apps on my phone.
My uncles, cousins, family friends, everyone knew. I have deep resentment for my parents and I fear when they call me upstairs now if fear I will be harshly punished even if I have nothing to hide. I don't care if my parents monitor my phone. I don't really do anything worrisome online.
But what really irks me is when they take the device at random intervals for "my safety". The constant fear that I will be suddenly stopped and forced to readjust my situation is taking a bigger toll on my day-to-day mood than anything else. I do not understand why parents are monitoring there kids phones. Even though I am currently residing with my mom at this time, i do feel that a few boundary rules should be present. From the time I received my first cell-phone, she has always complained that I spend too much time on my phone.
I could understand her point of view when she was paying for the phone.
Now that I am 19 years old, I think that it is just plain ridiculous. I recently made the mistake of creating a Facebook account and then relaying this information to a cousin of mine. When i asked her to keep this information to herself, she said that it was my place to tell my mom, not hers.
However, she called my mom and told her anyway. Which resulted in my only being allowed to use my cell-phone at school, until we discussed the situation with my father. Since i am paying the phone bill, I feel that this is completely intrusive and hurtful. Although he may be some-what disappointed, I don't mind talking with m dad about such things.
What does bother me is when she talks to him first and gives her side of the story, making me look like the bad person. I began to lose trust in my mother at a very young age. She would say that she was going to do things with me, and then come up with an excuse when it didn't happen.
Also, she would promise that i would be spanked for something I did wrong, but sometimes didn't follow through.
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Even now, I don't trust her much at all. She is constantly saying what i should do, and how I should do it. Even helping her with things that she should know how to do for herself. But if they are older and you suspect that something bad is taking place, explain to them why you want to monitor their devices.
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Don't just do it because you are the parent and "It's your responsibility". Children are a lot smarter these days than you may think. This is why i hide some things from my mom to this day, because i know that she is prone to over-reacting and telling my business to her friends, or whoever she deems necessary. Don't correct your child ren for something and then boast to your friends about what you did.
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This is not a constant competition of who is the best parent, or how big and bad parents may think that they are. You have to be patient and, most of all, develop a trust between you and your child. Doing this will prevent the need for your children to want to hide things from you. If a child feels they need to hide something from you, ask yourself, where did I go wrong.
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Since we are all human, it is possible. My mom checks my phone and my laptop for no reason sometimes she does it without telling me. She looks through texts and phone calls and contacts just to find something to be mad about. Its pretty obvious she doesn't trust me on my stuff and I know she knows her parenting is bad so she doesn't trust me. Guess what there are always ways to get around it She even listens at my door a few days ago I saw her through the crack of me door listening.. My parentts do not bother me with this garbage. I can bypass any spyware. When I was 11, I wanted to check my email in a public place.
I didn't have a phone, so I asked my mom if I could use hers. My mom, sensing an opportunity, let me log in and asked me to sign in with my school email too. But soon, I started noticing responses to emails I'd been sent that were from my account, but I didn't send them.
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Around that time, my mom also started reading my actual mail. I'd find opened envolopes on the kitchen table that were adressed to me. There was nothing suspicious about the emails and the mail my mom read. When I confronted her about it, my mom said she had a right to read my mail. When I set up an Instagram account about a month ago, my mom made me accept her follow request.
Not only that, she started following everyone I follow so she can see what I see on Instagram. I decided to hide my Instagram Story from her so that I'd be comfortable saying what I wanted. I have a private account, and I only accept people I know, my mom is the only person who can see my account, who I don't want to.
After another failed attempt at convincing my mom to not read my emails, I started using a secret email to talk to my friends. My parents knew I had the email, but I told them I'd set it up so I can watch Hetalia on youtube, which is age restricted. They were okay with that, but they don't know I use that account to email people, so they don't moniter it.
When I asked my mom why she still feels the need to moniter my email, she said it was so she could make sure I wasn't being sent anything inappropreate. At 14, I think that's unnessascary.
I get the online safety talk every year at school for the past 9 years, and I know to delete an email if it has anything inappropriate.